Sunday, December 2, 2012

Two Months Later (and notes on a solo album)

And I'm just now checking in...

What's up, internet? How you been? Good? Good! I've been doing okay, too. Well, more than okay. I've been doing really great! What's that, you say? There's not really any actual content in any of my posts? Hmmmm... I would have to agree with you, and yet, I won't. Because there is an audience for everything. And metrics don't lie. I don't have any actual content in my posts...

"I'd like to do lots of stuff, but there never seems to enough time," said anyone and everyone at one point in her life.

I like listing logistical properties of artistic projects I hope to bring into existence.

Solo album.

Recorded in my garage.

With a single microphone up in the storage area of the garage.

Recorded on to and mixed in and with my iPhone.

It would have to be garage rock, by default due to geography.

Three piece?

Bass.

Guitar.

Drums.

Vox.

Concept album?

8-12 songs.

2:30 minutes or less, which bumps the song total to 14-18. No, wait... 10-12. About half an hour would be nice, but I wouldn't cry if it were 34:19.

Extreme focus within the subject matter. A song about the 4th hole at Mountain Meadows golf course. A song about the Expedit shelving unit from Ikea. A song about the bacon wrapped asparagus from Bengal Barbecue in Disneyland.

Take your time, but don't dwell.

Sweet.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

He's Old Enough to Just Walk Around the Mall with Me

Chase is almost 3.

Which means a host of things. He has opinions. He's beginning to voice those opinions. He soaks up everything like a sponge... and is able to regurgitate those things with uncanny intelligibility.

And he's able to just chill at the mall with me without making a scene. Just walk through the mall, saying "Hi" to the occasional passerby, holding my hand while walking or rushing 4-5 feet in front of me to demonostrate his independence.

It's awesome. It's scary. It... is going to be a song very, very soon.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

OCD just... works for me...

Lots can happen in almost three months...

I start a brand new job with an awesome company on Monday. And I can't think of what to say in this blog because I've forgotten how to write in the past three months...?

Question mark because I'm not sure if that's true or if it's just an excuse.

Excuses are easy. Much easier than taking a good hard look in the mirror and bringing to light your own shortcomings, misgivings, and failures.

OCD, huh...? Maybe. I do eat my burgers in circles...

I just googled "eat burgers in circles" and nothing very interesting popped up. I may or may not have to make my way down to San Diego to fill my belly soon, though.

My double stroke roll is coming along nicely. I guess that's what's happen when you actually practice and don't just rely on natural talent.

I am arrogant. I am humble. I am clueless. I will stumble. But if I can keep my feet underneath my body for another moment or two, I know I can become truly great.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

You Don't Get Anywhere by Announcing Your Intentions

Yeah. This blog is a journal of sorts. If you're reading, I thank you. And I despise you because you keep me from being my true self because I seek your approval. I need to be accepted by you. Otherwise there are no repeat visitors, no audience, no purpose to this blog. Which is bullshit because didn't I say that this is a journal? And does a journal depend on any reader other than the writer himself or herself? It shouldn't. And so your weaknesses and deficiencies are exposed...

Blacklisted. A loaded term. You did something worth prohibiting. Worthy of being remembered... but don't do it again.

It's hard to write a post while listening to Black Star. Genuine. Authentic. And really good. Would that I could create art like this.

Don't say. Don't not do.

Circular reasoning. A feeling other than believing. It's true because it is.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

I'm Excited About...

... a website that will hopefully make some waves in how music business is conducted: backsta.gr/

Well... damn...

I just read a thread about the website on Reddit, and now the only thing I'm excited about is not being a lawyer... Seriously, though. Red tape and the rabbit hole and compliance and legalese make me... so sad...

I'm really excited about going to my first Dodgers game of the season.

And about recording more music with Lexy Baeza.

And about posting my "Making of" video for the song "Be Boring" based on a chapter from Austin Kleon's Steal Like an Artist.

And about doing the RW Summer Running Streak 2012, which basically means I'm going to be running at least a mile a day from Memorial Day to Independence Day.

Yep... lots to be excited about!!!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Going Out on a Limb

You've got to put yourself out there.

Stick your head out.

Flirt with the possibility of falling off the cliff.

Take the low percentage shot because you feel in your gut that you can clear the water hazard and have that putt for eagle.

Go for the harder riff while you're tracking guitars (even though this has been your most solid take) because you know people will wonder how it all came together.

Start a two piece band that takes song suggestions from the crowd and makes up the music and lyrics on the spot because you can't wait to feel the sensation of being inches from falling flat on your face... or achieving sonic brilliance.

Take a chance.

What have you got to lose?

Friday, May 18, 2012

Create

Because you can. Because you must. Because it feels good.

I recorded a 3 song demo about my son Chase today in just under 2 and a half hours. And it was so much fun and the time flew and I can't wait to to do it again. Record. Music about something I love or something I hate or something I feel strongly about. Tell a story. Convey a message. Get on a soapbox. Become a participant, not just a spectator.

The behind the scenes video was fun, too. Less pretense, more content.

And consistently ship. Set deadlines. Test hypotheses and make adjustments and learn and soak things up like a sponge and regurgitate what you've learned and become better and become better and always strive to become better.

You can stream and download the demo here.

And here's the behind the scenes video!!


Thursday, May 17, 2012

Things That Aren't Worth a Second Thought

Self-doubt, any types of doubt, living in the past, second-guessing yourself, making mistakes, falling flat on your face, breaking your diet, eating that burger, killing those fries, bigoted ideologies, haters, hatred, following trends, taking yourself too seriously, the Kings absolutely demolishing in the playoffs (begrudging congrats, Kings fans...), Kobe or Jordan, Brady or Manning, Tebow or Sanchez, Pacquiao or Mayweather, Kemp or Pujols, Lebron or Wade, Jared or Jeff, Battleship...

Oh, yeah.

The title of this post could also be: These Things Keep Glynn Awake Until 1:48am

Emo... Isn't Good for Anybody...

I've been emo a bit lately. So, let's change it up with a good old fashioned ramble...

Matt Kemp's on the 15 day DL for the Dodgers. But I'm happy to have read this article, which outlines why the Dodgers won't be that too badly out of shape without him.

Spotify is the best $10 I spend every month. I've been exposed to so much good music... older albums like the Miniature Tigers' masterpiece Tell It to the Volcano... newer jams like Schoolboy Q's Habits and Contradictions. I finally feel like I'm able to keep my promise to myself to constantly listen to new (and old!) music, and it's all thanks to Spotify.

Dropped off on running for the past 9 days. And I can feel it. I'm antsy. But with Rachel at the 3DT Box Office on the weekends and trying to play more guitar and keeping the house clean and cooking more instead of eating out... well, running was bound to take a hit. Wait... this post was supposed to avoid being emo... oh yeah...

I love going to Disneyland with my family. Chase is at an age where everything is interesting and he's curious and energetic and feisty and has opinions and Disneyland is the perfect place to keep him engaged and satiate that need for exposure to new things. And he loves the Monorail, which is a plus.

Word. Sweet. Holla. Play guitar more and so on and so forth...

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Every Once in a While...

I just get tired.

Of working. Of sitting at a desk and worrying about other people's problems.

And that's the truth. It's not my problem. It's your problem. It's not something I can get behind. It's something I appreciate, but it's not something that I go to bed wondering about, at least not for the right reasons.

I want something to believe in. And I have something to believe in.

I just want to take away the safety net...

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Live the Life You Want

It has to start somewhere
It has to start sometime
What better time than here
What better time than now

-Zack de la Rocha

This is a blog post to psyche myself up. Complacency begets complacency. If you want success, you have to work for it. You have to sacrifice. You have to sweat and cry and bleed.

Success isn't pretty. It's a million things behind the scenes. It's a tornado beneath the lake's calm surface.

Stop dreaming about the life you want and start living it.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Gay Marriage

"Homosexuals
should be able to marry."
How's this in question?

I can understand how someone would be against abortion. I can understand how someone would be against universal healthcare. I can understand how someone would be against gun control. I can understand how someone would be against affirmative action.

But I can NOT, for the life of me, understand how someone would be against homosexuals being able to marry... What logical argument is there...? Anyone...?

Making history... Obama Backs Gay Marriage

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Ramble, Young Man, Ramble...

This blog is totes a ramble.

Writing a couple songs about a horrible, horrible situation right now. Empathy certainly makes better artists.

One liners are completely under(over)rated.

Sometimes it really is best to just shut your damn mouth.

How does my typing always wake her up?

Make time for friends.

A laundry list of to do something with your life time is a funny channel the energy and let it flow down the mountain top that you filthy animal animal animal!!!

Not quite stream of consciousness, but it'll do.

I remember waiting to do the pledge of allegiance and announcements when I was the president of ASB at St. Bruno's. Such a random memory to have while blogging. I'll bet I can remember the exact smell of that little room if I tried hard enough. That seems like a lifetime ago, seems like I might be making it all up, seems like it might never have happened... Funny how memories work. The actual items within and the container of...

I got nervous a lot when I was a kid. Nervous to read during mass. Nervous about which items to bring to the altar when I was an altar server. Nervous about going up to bat. Nervous about having a cool enough outfit on 70s day during spirit week. Where did all that nervousness come from? And why don't I feel it as strongly now as I did then? Everything seemed like it could be the end of the world when I was a kid. Maybe it feels like that for my son Chase. Maybe I should remember that the next time he's screaming for his Lightning McQueen...

I think the best part about blogging is thinking about the times in the future when you'll read your posts and either think, "Yeah. That's so true" OR "Ummm... what's wrong with me?"

Time to sleep...

Thursday, May 3, 2012

My Hair is Not Perfect... but it's pretty close...

I have two cowlicks at the back of my head that have always pushed my hair into a natural mohawk.


Didn't bug me so much when I was super little, but then I became a tween and the "wave" hairstyle was in fashion and my hair didn't do that and I hated it because all I could do was buzz my hair because I couldn't get the "wave" hairstyle to be perfect.

Fast forward to late teens and Fight Club came out and Tyler Durden's hair was rad. But yeah... two cowlicks kept that from happening, too, so instead I grew my hair out and looked like this...


I turned 27 and a rad woman named Jeanna Pizzolo started working where I work and she does hair and starts to cut mine and I have found the absolute raddest stylist in the world she gets my hair and makes me look pretty like this...


And I've had this haircut for 2 days and each of the last 2 mornings I've tried to make my hair "perfect"... but "perfect" doesn't exist. It's a myth, a shadow, a ghost, the whisper and promise of something unattainable. So, I'm not gonna focus on "perfect" any more. I'm going to focus on imperfect and human and really effing good because it's a representation of me. And not just with my hair, but with my music, my blog, my work, my life. Strive for perfect, but deliver exceptional, deliver awesome, deliver great, deliver something worth remembering.

But having really good hair helps, too...



Sidenote: our room is so dirty it's embarrassing, and I half expect the film crew from Hoarders to be at our door any minute...

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Keep Plugging Away

When things are going well... it's easy.

The Dodgers are winning = I'm such a huge fan!

The songs are just flowing = I want to play guitar all the time!

I feel good after every workout = I'm gonna run everyday!

...

But then things don't go so well, and you'd rather be doing anything else, like lying in bed watching TV, or lounging on the couch on your iPhone, or sitting at a computer looking at really expensive triathlon bikes.

Those are the times when it's most important to focus and stay motivated and keep plugging away. Because the pendulum will swing, the tide will turn, the momentum will shift... and things will become easy again.

On a sidenote... the muppet on top of Rachel's desk is really scary in the dark...


Break Through the Wall... and some Goals

It's fun to surprise yourself. To come up against a self-imposed wall and smash through it. Even if it's just on a run of the mill training run on a Tuesday in May...

If you keep pushing yourself past what you think you're capable of, you can't help but become more fit, become a better songwriter, develop a more entertaining and engaging stage presence.

Incremental improvement. Fastidiously measured and notated. Keep track of the time and distance run. Be aware of time spent strumming, writing, singing, developing your art. Test the recipe then do it again.

By the end of 2012, I would like to:

- Complete a sprint triathlon
- Have 5 Go-To recipes under my belt
- Record at least 10 songs
- Perform my acoustic material at least 6 times
- Finally have a clean house

Incremental improvement. Baby steps. And always be grateful and motivated and never take anything for granted.

Oh yeah... bomb haircut today... I am a rockstar...

Monday, April 30, 2012

Friday, April 27, 2012

Quality Control, Professionalism, and Differing Tastes

I remember hearing somewhere that the difference between a $100 guitar and a $2000 guitar is the percentage of quality instruments made out of 1000. 1 out of 1000 guitars that cost $100 will be exceptional; the rest will fall somewhere between adequate and downright terrible. However, out of 1000 guitars that cost $2000, 980 of them will be exceptional and 20 of them will be less than that... but still way better than a $100 guitar. And that's what you're paying for... the ability to control the type of quality you'll be receiving.

Damn... there's gotta be some sort of nifty graph or pie chart or graphic that I can find to support that last paragraph... GOOGLE QUEST!!

Wow... I never took statistics, and I'm damn glad. Let's just say my google quest led me to pages that probably related to what I'm talking about, but I couldn't possibly understand them or hope to utilize them for this blog post...

SO...

What was I saying? Oh yeah... quality control, difference between $100 guitar and $2000 guitar... blah blah blah...

It's kinda like the difference between community theater and Broadway.

You're paying $5-$30 for a community theater show. You're paying anywhere from $110 to $260 for a Broadway show. There will be issues with the community theater show: lighting cues will be off, the costuming or set design or direction or acting might be sub par, sound might not be done very well. The Broadway show is going to be on point with everything. The determining factor with whether or not you enjoy the show will pretty much be a matter of taste. There won't be any logistic issues preventing your enjoyment (at least there shouldn't be).

It's kinda like the difference between being an amateur and a professional.

Amateurs are hobbyists and do things because they enjoy them but don't get paid to do them. Professionals enjoy what they do (hopefully), and people pay them for the services. And professionals had better provide those services error free close to 100% of the time... otherwise they won't be in business for very long. Whether you're a professional plumber, doctor, actor, musician, basket maker... people depend on knowing that you'll deliver exactly what they want when they want it.

Quality control is why:

- Apple beats Dell
- Honda beats Chevy
- The Voltaggio Brothers beat the guy behind the grill at Outback Steakhouse

Of course, those comparisons are a matter of opinion. And all people have different tastes... or are just not as willing to spend money for quality... or just don't give a shit...

But for the most part, the cream rises...

In other words... be exceptional or be forgotten...

Hmmmm... my blog posts are really circuitous...

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Valve and a Personal Manifesto

Seth Godin is a brilliant man whose blog I've been following for about 4 years. Every day around 3am a lovely little insightful email populates my inbox with ways to better myself, to change my outlook on life, to push the boundaries of what I think is possible, to take steps towards the job, career, life that I truly want.

From all of these hundreds of emails, a couple stand out...

The post that directed me to Anything You Want by Derek Sivers, an amazing and quick read about the creation and eventual sale of CD Baby and all of the lessons Derek learned along the way.

A great post about the difference between stupid and lazy.

A brief outline of how to demonstrate strength.

And the email I received today with a direct link to a PDF of the Valve Handbook for New Employees.

Valve is the software company that gave Half Life to the world. Now, I'm not even that big of a gamer, and I know about Half Life. In fact, I have a feeling almost any male between the ages of 14 and 50 would at least partially recognize this picture:


I don't know what the game is about. All I know is it's a first person shooter and is supposedly one of the greatest video games ever made in the history of ever.

Anyways, the Valve Handbook for New Employees is one of the most amazing things I have ever read in my life. As Seth Godin describes it, it is "about the post-industrial method of management." It describes the company as having a "flat structure" where everyone and anyone can work with anyone else, where there are no managers and no "boss", where desks are on wheels so they can be moved and organized into various cabals created to complete employee projects, where the customer truly is the boss.

It's inspiring. It's simple. It's honest. It's supremely complicated. It acknowledges the company's strengths and recognizes their weaknesses. It's totally serious. It is the butt of its own joke.

It is dependent on a singular belief that better people make a better company... that "hiring is more important than oxygen".

Please read it because anything I have written here has not done it justice.

It gives me hope for the future... because if one company can do it this way... why not more?

Why not... EVERY company...?

I'm certainly set in a lot of my own ways, ways that have been borne out of 30 some odd years of repetition, ways that are deficient and that are begging to be changed.

The Valve Handbook is now part of my personal manifesto to initiate and perpetuate change within myself. Change for the better. Not just for me, but for my wife, for my son, for my family, for my friends.

Remember this feeling, Glynn. It is not sappy (it's totally sappy). It is (hopefully) not fleeting. It is important enough to hold on to... Read: "so important that you should never let it go."

A Personal Manifesto:

Every day I will strive to go to sleep a better person than when I woke up in the morning.

And...

GO

Memory Lane: Weezer- In the Garage

It's about re-creating a feeling. Capturing a moment in a life, any life, mine, yours, theirs, ours.

Because we all have the same experiences, the same hopes and dreams and fears. Everyone just wants to be happy, to find something that makes them get up in the morning.

There are songs that do this so well...



 
 
I remember sitting in the back of my parent's 1995 Honda Civic with my sister's Sony Discman in my lap, headphones blaring, on the way to San Diego for a reunion for my dad and his fraternity brothers, or on the way home from school on the 60 freeway passing Montebello golf course, or on the way to Griffith Park Observatory during Christmas 1996 with some cousins from the Philippines...

So many memories just from listening to one song...

Work at it, Glynn. Write ten songs. Then a hundred. Then a thousand. And make each one capture a moment in a life. Yours. His. Hers. Theirs. Ours.

Write. Go play guitar right now. It's not as if you're actually going to go to sleep...

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Getting It All Out

What do you do when you have too much to say? Where do you start? How do you wade through all the bullshit and get to the really good stuff in your brain, the stuff that inspires, that stuff that captivates, the stuff that you're most proud of sharing?

Well... you don't do it by doing nothing.

Say too much. Aim too high. Stretch too far. It's easier to pull back than it is to push farther (farther or further?).

I purchased Steal Like an Artist by Austin Kleon today. I've read the post from which this book evolved, and it is amazing. There are so many simple, amazing, insightful ideas, and the advice flows clearly and logically, and it pushes your buttons and has you smacking your forehead and thinking aloud, "Why didn't I think of that before?"

The greatest ideas are like that. It's as if they've always existed and someone just needed to come along and articulate them.

Great songs are like that, too. "I'm right here. You just need to play and sing me. I've always existed. Just come and find me, bro."

And this post has morphed into a ramble.

No. Wait. Focus. Focus. Getting it all out... the name of the post is "Getting It All Out".

Get it on the page. All of it. Every single thing you can come up with. Get it on the page.

Then edit.

But that's not how I do things. I do very little editing. It's all about... feel.

How does it feel? Does it feel... "right"? Because feeling right is almost better than feeling good and the two feelings are not always synonymous...

When I write a song, I don't get it all out and edit. Wait... I have done that before. With one song in particular. I auto-wrote and recorded live version after live version and then finished the song... wait... songs. There are multiple songs I've done this with. And they are "finished" or as finished as they can be... but at the same time they're never finished.

That's what I want to do. I want to write songs... that are never finished... because they are different every single time I play them. They are based on that singular moment, on how the audience is reacting, on how much I've had to drink, on if I've had a bad day, on if my guitar is out of tune.

Wait... any song that's performed live is like that. They are never finished. The audience listens and brings their own baggage to the song, their own point of view, their own customs and morals and connotations and individual understandings of language, spoken, instrumental, body...

And you change, too. You play a song that you wrote 4 years ago, and it's the same song, but it's not the same song because you're not the same person. 4 years pass and you're in a different place and you don't even remember the actual meaning of the song but you perform it and bring your current self along for the ride.

All of this has led me to one conclusion.

I need to play live again, more, weekly...

And I shouldn't title my blog posts before writing them...


Plateau and other Stuff

In the beginning, things are difficult. You can barely run for 10 minutes straight without feeling completely winded. Your form isn't the most efficient, you're still trying to figure out what's comfortable, there is plenty of trial and error, you are motivated to get out there and run and train, but you might become impatient, anxious to see results, to see some sort of evidence that your effort isn't all for naught.

Then you fall into a groove. 2 miles in 20 minutes? No problem. Bring on some speed training. I'm gonna finish that 5K in under 30 minutes. Man, make it 29 minutes. No, 28 minutes. My goal's will be reached. I've lost some weight. Yeah! Clothes are fitting me again!

Then... plateau...

Damn. I can't just run for 40 minutes and continue to lose weight. I have to watch what I eat and add some strength training and maybe swimming would be a good idea and shouldn't I hop on the bike, too, yeah, that would be good and keep me well-rounded and motivated and I can fight through this plateau.

And that's the secret. You have to realize that you need to fight through. That there will be times when you see minimal gains, but you have to recognize that a baby step forward is still a step forward. Fight through the plateau, keep your legs moving, keep your spirits up, stick to the plan, keep your goals in your sights, because once you fight through the plateau, you'll be that much stronger, that much more ready to fight even harder and soar even higher.

Hmmm... when did I become a motivational speaker? :)

Dodgers are 13-4. Yeah, it's a long season, but you gotta take the easy ones when you can get them, and if Ethier and Kemp keep it up and the pitching staff holds it together, this could be a fun season. Hell, it will be fun anyways.

I think the Camp Pendleton Triathlon might be smarter because it's less expensive and saving money is always a good thing. It's in August, too, which might mean I can get a sleeveless wetsuit, which will also be less expensive.

NFL coaches are cheating. Athletes are reverting to their old ways.

And I still want these shoes.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Lucky

I'm lucky to have worked with so many talented people. You people are fun and generous and talented and amazing and selfless and a pleasure to share time and art with. There are really no words to express how much I have enjoyed sharing the stage, studio, microphone, writing notebook with all of you.

I am humbled... and I can't say "Thank you" enough...

Friday, April 20, 2012

Trash Talking

... bugs the shit out of me.

Let your actions do the talking.

If you need to trash talk, you're most likely trying to make up for some sort of inadequacy on the field, in the ring, on the ice, on the court, on the track, in the pool, on the road...

I mean, sure. Different strokes for different folks. But I'll take nice and quiet over brash and loud any day.

Wait... I take that back. Do all the trash talking you want. Just make it seem like you're a nice guy. Or trash talk and be the best.

Reggie Miller trash talked a bunch. So did Michael Jordan. But Michael backed it up and won 6 rings. Reggie only made it to the Eastern Conference Finals a bunch...

Amendment: Trash talking bugs the shit out of me... if you can't back it up.

Floyd Mayweather trash talks so much I half expect a Waste Management truck to fall out of his mouth. But the man is undefeated, so there's not a lot of arguing to be done. Sure, he supposedly ducks fights. Yes, he's pretty classless at times and downright arrogantly ignorant at others. But the man is undefeated. So until someone makes the 0 a 1... you can't really fault him for trash talking.

You know what doesn't bug the shit out of me?

Sports...

Slowly But Surely

My room is dirty. I don't know how to play guitar. I can't run a mile without stopping.

I picked up a sock. I picked up a guitar. I picked out a pair of running shoes.

I turned on the TV. Wow, drums are cool. I'm too tired to get out there today.

I picked up my clothes and did some dusting. Hm, this tab is getting easier. Another slow run, but I'm feeling better.

More arranging. I just wrote another song. Going for a personal best in my 5K tomorrow.

...

It seems like things happen all at once, but they really happen slowly. As long as I take the right steps towards my goals, I can achieve them.

Yes, it's cheesy. No, it's not sexy. Yes, it takes a lot of hard work. No, it's not easy.

Yes, slowly... but surely.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Pity

Upon opening his eyes, the regret was nearly instantaneous. He shut his eyelids tightly, willing himself back to that empty hallway, lined with lockers, void of classmates, occupied by her, those silver eyes, that long blonde hair, twisted above her head in a bun, revealing her tiny ears that were actually listening, listening to him, his words, his fumbling, mumbling, inadequate words, professing his love, undying, immovable, unrequited now that he was awake and painfully aware of the impossibility of that perfect, perfect dream...

And later that day, while rushing through the halls to geometry class, he saw her, her swollen eye covered by makeup, her bruised wrists hidden by the sleeves of his letterman jacket, a disguise that fooled no one, failed to cover the evidence of another fall down the stairs, another volleyball to the face, another slap and grab and why won't she leave him, why won't her parents say anything, why did the teachers pass him, why did the school give him that full ride, why is she still wearing that jacket when he's across town in a dorm, waiting for his big debut against Hawaii, sleeping with 20 year old cheerleaders, 26 year old TAs, 41 year old professors, ok, maybe not with all those girls, but he still hits her and treats her like shit and makes me wish that I wasn't 15 going on 12, 127 going on 110, 5'6" going 5'2", weak going on weaker, smart going on weaker, in love, in love, in lust, in love, in pain but not as much as she endures on a nightly basis...

And then he remembered why he loved the dream so much. It wasn't because he finally had her. It was because she was finally safe. And he was sad. Sad that he realized it was pity that he felt, not love.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Impatient

How many blogs am I going to write about not having anything to write about?

When will it become easier? Not overnight, that's for sure. Or maybe it will be overnight? Go to bed and wake up the next morning an amazing writer...

Yeah, that's how it's going to happen. It will have nothing to do with hours and hours of work put in or years of astute observational experiential knowledge acquisition or decades of dues paying or a lifetime of falling flat on your face.

It's going to happen overnight...

Ugh...

Impatient, much...?

Monday, April 16, 2012

Help

They say that men don't like to ask for directions ("they" being most people, "men" being the male species, "directions" being help in general).

Is it a machismo thing? A bravado thing? An "I'm the man so I should know everything and I can't show weakness" thing...?

My dad still keeps a Thomas Guide in his car. If Rachel's dad ever gets on Amazing Race, he says he wouldn't hesitate to ask for directions. I don't think I know two wiser men than my dad and Rachel's dad.

We all need help. It doesn't make sense to continue to go it alone, if you can reach out for help and build a relationship and leverage the power of two minds are better than one is the loneliest number pushers can isolate but the rest of us would do better to work in committees.

I'm selfish. I want to do it by myself. I'm arrogant. I feel like I can get it done all by myself. I'm wrong. I'm stagnant. I need help. Help developing better swim technique. Help capturing the aural ideas in my brain. Help developing projects at work. Help raising my son. Help balancing everything in my life.

I need help. And I have it. I'm a really lucky guy...

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Items On A Desk

An iPhone box. Hand sanitizer. A clip of three of my business cards. Burt's Bees lip balm. A bag of personalized guitar picks with my son's face on them. A FedEx branded chocolate mint. A SanDisk 2GB memory card. A 2010 nickel. An Eric Karros Upper Deck rookie card.

These are all items sitting in a cubby hole. The cubby hole is part of my wife's computer desk. The computer desk houses the computer upon which I type this blog post. The blog post is part of the internet. I'm not sure where that progression was going, but it appears to have gone to wherever that is.

Unrelated items? Yeah. Or maybe not so unrelated.

After all, they occupy the same space now. They're all neighbors. Some of the items are touching. I'm sure some of the items were probably manufactured in the same country.

They all cost money. To produce. To purchase. They're all commodities. Well, except the nickel. But isn't money a commodity nowadays, too?

Why am I writing about items on a desk? Am I that lazy? Or am I that genius...?

Unrelated and unimportant and uninteresting are the new related, important, and interesting, are they not? If they're not, they should be. Because I say so.

It's a pattern, you know. Starting with some sort of vague intention and then devolving into a nonsensical BLob Of Gibberish. You're frustrated. You're annoyed. You're bored. Reading what you've written has made you bored. Listening to the songs you've written... bored. Or unintentionally entertained because you're biased. Bias is not good. Bias blinds you...

Bias can blind you
Especially when you are
Creator and crowd

Why do you like haikus so much? Because they're easy? You like a lot of things that are easy, don't you? Don't you ever want to push yourself? Don't you ever want to set out to do something where you expect to fail... so you can prove that expectation wrong? Aren't you capable of that? Can you answer that question without pushing yourself to that uncomfortable place? Is this paragraph of questions Socratic or another symptom of you liking things that are easy...?

Pretentious. Lable this... pretentious...

I used the French spelling of label because I'm feeling cultured tonight. Fine dining at classy joints can do that to a man... make him feel cultured.

I figured it out. Why this blog feels forced. It's because I can't see the ending. Because I couldn't see the beginning, and the middle is definitely out of sight. Because I can't see the moves. Am I even making moves or am I just treading water, waiting for a lifeboat, taking in water and gasping for air and endlessly moving my arms and legs to barely keep afloat.

I need to learn the moves. Which I guess is the whole point of this blog, this job, this life.

I just wonder... when do you stop learning and start doing?

All this from items on a desk? Am I that lazy? Or am I that... genius...?

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Because You Said You Would

Get your ass out of bed.

Sure, you're tired. Yeah, Sportscenter is on. Okay, the mattress is really comfy.

But you said you would. You said you would try to write a blog every night. And you've been doing pretty well for the last month or so.

And it doesn't matter that you had no idea what to write about before you turned on the computer. It's actually more fun that way.

Just like your band, Oh Girl. It's fun because it's spur of the moment, off the top of the dome, free of rules, spontaneous.

Run with that abandon. Train with that energy. Focus the nervous tension. Slice like a Hattori Hanzo sword...

Whoa... mind blown... the shoes I've been looking at are the Saucony Hattori... coincidence? Probably not...

You need to play guitar more. Tell me something I don't know. This would be difficult because I am you and is there anything you know that I don't? Not likely...

This was a fun one...

Let's end with a haiku, shall we?

I got out of bed
The words tumbled quietly
Out of my tired head

Progress

I started running on 7/1/2010.

1.13 miles in 11:31... a numerical symmetry that's almost poetic.

At the time, I remember being slightly disappointed. It was a pretty brutal wake up call. I was 28 years old and really out of shape. It felt like I would never be able to run a 5k in under 30 minutes, never consider a 2 mile run to be short,  never contemplate a sprint triathlon as a realistic goal.

Well... it's almost 21 months later... my 5k personal best is 24:57, a 2 mile run is shorter than my "normal" run (3 miles), and a sprint triathlon is very much a goal for me (this one on 10/21/2012). And all this with two different extended "off" periods (6 months from 11/2010 to 5/2011 and 3 months from 12/2011 to 2/2012).

I'm proud of the progress I've made, but I have to work to stay hungry, work to push myself to get out there and hit the pavement, work to stay focused and find fun races to keep me motivated.

Keep it going, Glynn. Let's see where you are in another 21 months...

Friday, April 13, 2012

Write About What's Important

About staying up until 1 in the morning playing guitar.

About trying to comfort your son after he's hit the back of his head and there's a huge bump and he doesn't want to keep the bag of frozen vegetables on the bump because it hurts and there are tears streaming down his face and chewed up bits of peanut butter and jelly sandwich oozing out of his mouth and he still has the wherewithal to laugh at Lightning McQueen.

About how much you love watching your wife while she's sleeping...

About how your tiny cat can take up what feels like the entire queen mattress.

About how the big swedish fish are better than the smaller ones.

About how there are people in the world that argue for the sake of arguing, people who take pride in cutting down others, people who feed off of negative energy and can't wait to nay-say and criticize and poke holes in everything you hold dear.

About how there are people that are nothing like that.

About how when your son was born it made you realize how much your parents love you. And it made you feel sad, guilty, humbled, loved, happy, proud, amazing all at the same time.

About how you hope your typing won't wake her up...

It did...

Damn...

Good night.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Freestyle

Man... the definition of "off the top of the dome"...





I need to listen to more hip hop. And make beats. And broaden my musical horizons. Life's too short to only pay attention to what you know really well...

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Ideas... Execution

I have a lot of ideas.

But ideas aren't really much of anything until there is some sort of execution behind them...

So in 10 days, part of the execution will get under way.

I'll be recording an acoustic EP with Lexy Baeza. She's amazing, talented, and amazingly talented.

And my engineer, producer, mixer, aural master extraordinaire Mark McCombs will be manning the levers and knobs, which leaves me relaxed and excited and stress-free and pumped and ready to capture lightning in a bottle.

I think the only song I know I'm recording for sure is below. It was written with a whole bunch of people in mind, and I feel like it captures a feeling that all of us have had or will have at some point in our lives.

I have a lot of ideas. It's time to get to the execution...



Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Why...

... am I tired when I have stuff to do and wide awake when there's nothing to do?

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Drive and Storytelling

Storytelling is challenging. How much information is enough? Do you want to spend time on exposition or should you just let the audience figure it out on their own? How deep do you need to go when you create and portray the characters?

Drive is a beautiful movie. Yes, I'm late to the party. No, I don't mind. Yes, I waited long enough for the hype to die down, which also means my own expectations for the film went down, and it's always a good thing to experience art with as little expectational baggage as possible. No, I didn't wait long enough on purpose; I just never got my hands on the movie until tonight...

There are so many lessons to be learned by examining the storytelling of Drive. You can tell a story with very little dialogue. The mood of your story is paramount as is the ability to disrupt the mood. Specifics are important but being vague and allowing the audience to fill in the specifics can be even more important. If the execution is spot on, holes (or cheap convenient tie ins) in the plot can be forgiven. It also helps to have two really attractive people as main characters...

The movie was really effing good. Reminded me of Scarface, especially the brutally violent scenes and the use of slow motion and music to enhance the mood. I kinda wanna watch it again just to point out all the beautiful moments in it. Great ensemble acting, too. Just... really, really, really good.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

How Do You Know What You Like?.... Nope... RAMBLE

What is the science behind the brain "liking" something?

Nope. It's going to be impossible to write this post while Meshuggah's Koloss blares in my headphones.

Screw it. RAMBLE!!!

I ran the first official 5K of 2012 this morning. Didn't too horribly considering I didn't train very much for it, especially in the last 2 and a half weeks. About 8:34 a mile. I'm of the belief that if I truly focused on training and gave it a good 10 weeks, I could get down to about 7:50 a mile.

Man, I love running because you can either be completely detail oriented and geeky and mull over split times and personal records and the type of fuel you take in before and after running and the different shoes that you could be wearing and what about minimalist shoes or socks or no socks and would you ever truly want to train for an endurance run of over 100 miles or you can just run for the hell of it and not give a shit about anything but the burn in your lungs and the barriers placed in front of you by your own mind.

2 weeks away from recording. I'm pretty sure I know which songs I'm going to do, but it will probably change about 7 or 8 times before that day. Acoustic recordings!! Can't wait!!!

Been reading a lot of the @AdviceToWriters tweets. Good stuff. But I really just need to drop all that stuff sometimes and remember that above all else, writing is supposed to be fun.

This Meshuggah album is blowing my mind. It reminds me of math class and listening to Helmet on the way to football games and recording at the Wall with Tracey Brown and a whole bunch of other stuff and sometimes my brain hurts because I can't keep up with the time signature changes or the athleticism of the drumming...

Dodgers won again today! 3-0, baby!! Best start in 13 years I read somewhere... Long season, but it's a good start, boys. Keep it going!!

I'm sleepy. And will probably end up staying awake for at least another hour...

Or not...

Friday, April 6, 2012

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Dodger Blue

Today was opening day for the Los Angeles Dodgers.

I'm proud to be a Dodger fan, somewhere between casual and die hard (it's in my nature to reside in the middle).

When it comes to the Boys in Blue, there are plenty of fond memories floating around in my head:

  • Meeting Steve Garvey at a church fundraiser when I was a little boy
  • Listing Fernando Valenzuela as my favorite baseball player on my little league playing card 
  • Games at Chavez Ravine with my family 
  • My brother Rick sitting in the stadium on his Walkman, listening to Vin Scully calling the game
  • Fireworks at Dodger Stadium on July 4th (coincidentally also my Dad's birthday) 
  • Yelling "C'MON, BRETT!!" in unison with my dad about 20 times when Brett Butler came up to bat at a game (I was probably around 11 or 12)
  • Enjoying the Continental Airline seats along the first base line with Rachel and her family
  • Rachel's and my Trash the Dress Photo Shoot in Dodger Stadium with Ryan Caliendo (a surreal experience...)
 
 
 
 
 

    So many amazing memories when I think about Dodger Blue...

    We beat the Padres 5-3 today. Matt Kemp hit a 2 run homerun. Clayton Kershaw went 3 innings with no earned runs (he wasn't 100% due to some sort of illness). I wore my Dodgers shirt to work proudly, a daring feat considering our entire warehouse is full of Angel fans.

    It's going to be an exciting season now that we have the stability of Magic in the buying group that purchased the Dodgers from Frank McCourt. And, as of today, the Boys in Blue are undefeated.

    Yeah. It's time to stop residing in the middle. From now on, I'm not a casual fan. From now on...

    I bleed Dodger Blue.

    Packed House

    stuffed animals are
    the very best audience
    polite and quiet


    Wednesday, April 4, 2012

    Email to Bob Lefsetz

    Sent today after I read this post:

    Great advice in the Shannon Labrie email. Thanks for getting back to music. Although I don't really mind the digressions. This newsletter/ blog is your world, and we're just living in it. People forget sometimes that if you don't like something, you can CHANGE THE CHANNEL.

    Not sure if you listen to sports radio at all, but Colin Cowherd had some interesting thoughts on his ESPN radio show this morning (AM710 from 7-10am if you're curious). He said there might be a direct connection between socially vicious personalities like Steve Jobs, Tiger Woods, Kobe Bryant and achieving success. That the reason people perceive them as so brutal is because they are. Brutally honest. Brutally motivated. Brutally SUCCESSFUL. There's a reason Kobe has 5 rings and Lebron doesn't have any. A reason Tiger Woods was number 1 in the world for 9 out of 11 years and Phil Mickelson is often relegated to an afterthought. A reason Steve Jobs will be remembered as one of the most pioneering minds in history and Bill Gates will be remembered as... well... he's really rich, right? All three men have a refusal to compromise and brutal natures when it comes to delivering.

    What he was saying reminded me of stuff you've said about rockstars. They live their lives beholden to nothing and no one. They live for their music to the point of alienating everyone and everything. It's not a popularity contest. It's about delivering what they hear in their heads no matter the cost. Go big or go home. If you want a balanced life, you shoulda gone into customer service (interestingly enough, where I am right now), but you wouldn't be playing to those sold out houses if you'd gone that route, now would you?

    So many parallels between sports and music. I guess that's why I love both so much.

    A lot of parallels between you and Seth Godin, too. And Derek Sivers. And Austin Kleon. Guess that's why I follow all of you on Twitter.

    Damn... is there anything more pathetic than a newsletter subscriber name dropping people he only knows through their newsletters...?

    And... scene...

    Tuesday, April 3, 2012

    Music I'm Excited About

    The new Japandroids single, The House That Heaven Built. Coming out May 15th. Album dropping June 5. Yes, these guys were one of my inspirations for starting up a 2 piece band... Oh Girl!

    Rubblebucket. An 8 piece band that I can only describe as an introspective dance party that has wedged itself into the wrinkles of my grey matter (because it's such intellectual music [Damn. It's true. If you have to explain yourself, it's not as effective]). I'm hoping I can sneak over to see them on Friday so I can bear witness to this...

    Gethsemane by Paul Nolan. Yes, the song from Jesus Christ Superstar. Rachel and I saw JCS when we were in New York ten days ago, and it was amazing. I was a big fan of Paul Nolan's Jesus. Weird, but he had a country swagger that strangely fit.

    Wow... I just spent the last 10 minutes watching JCS clips on YouTube... Go Music!!

    Monday, April 2, 2012

    Free Write

    I have nothing to say about the time when I woke up and my dad was getting arrested but he was in the right because he had parked on the street facing the wrong way is never the right way and if it was easier it would just be called t he way only at target i can't believe that i switched over to target is the spot makrs the x marks the spot and typs suck but are a necessity i guess when you free write it could be good or it oulcd be bad and maybe i don't know how to spell but it's always a good thing to slow down and take your time instead of trying to win the lottery you could just show up to work and collect a key to your own self absorbed and permittied maze of a a cage of a disapointment...

    Wow.

    Two minutes of free writing was really hard.

    And I don't think that I performed the exercise correctly.

    But practice makes permanent, they say...

    Thomas' Demise

    Thomas stood no chance
    Against the titan feline
    And her frenzied swipe


    Sunday, April 1, 2012

    Saturday, March 31, 2012

    GFMism: Why We Go to Mass on Sundays

    My dad is a genius. A saw his father one month out of the year till he was 20, asked to go to the bathroom at school when he was 6 so he could wander around the playground, moved out of the country at 22, bootstrapped his way through raising five kids with my mom, surrounded himself with people who were "better" and "smarter" than he was because he knew it was best for him kind of genius.

    Of course, he's also a knows which buttons to push to drive you absolutely batshit up a wall crazy kind of genius... but I digress...

    Throughout my 30 or so odd years on this planet, my dad has gifted me many nuggets of wisdom, sage words of advice, sly bits of info, tips of the trade that are meant to make life... bearable. GFMisms I'm going to call them. My dad is GFM. Glorificador Fernandez Montemayor. GFMisms has a nice ring to it.

    This is the first of many GFMisms I'm going to impart to the world through this sometimes entertaining, oftentimes rambling, alltimes digital blog. The smirk on my face right now contains only a small bit of the excitement, enthusiasm, and pride I will have in doing so.

    I was raised Catholic. My mom was raised Catholic in the Philippines, my dad was raised... some denomination of Christianity that I don't really recall... so by default my family was Catholic. Went to Catholic grade schools. Catholic high schools (2 of my sisters went to an all girl school, and I attended a Jesuit Prep School [even as I type and proofread that sentence, it sounds much more glamorous, elitist, pretentious than it actually was]).

    We went to Mass on Sundays.

    Like a lot of other kids who are raised Catholic (raised in any religion, really), the mandatory customs and traditions of Catholicism weren't necessarily what we looked forward to every week, month, season, year. Giving up things for Lent wasn't at the top of anyone's "Favorite Things to Do" list. Nor was Ash Wednesday, yearly confessions, prayer groups... you get the idea (I did like going to Soup Wednesdays at Dolan Hall and Fish Fridays at the O'Callaghan Center during Lent, but that's just because I got to play with other kids).

    Mass on Sundays was no different. Yes, we had to go. No, it wasn't particularly enjoyable.

    Did I mention my dad is a genius? Because he is, as evidenced by his explanation for why we need to go to Mass on Sundays.

    Not because it's the Lord's Day. Not because it's a sin if we don't. We go to Mass on Sundays...

    ... to slow down.

    Because our lives are always moving so fast, endlessly fast, never a moment to enjoy it fast, drive for an hour in traffic on the 60 then the 10 then exit Vermont and head north to Venice where you make a left to make it to school by 8:10 so you won't get detention fast, 9 to 5 and collect that paycheck so you can pay the bills fast, wake the baby and get him dressed before feeding him breakfast so you can rush him to the car and drop him off at Kindercare fast, rush to the A or C or E and get off on 42nd and 8th so you can put your name in at the Newsies lottery and get those $30 tickets fast... It's really, really, really, unfortunately, forgettably, regrettably... fast.

    But Mass on Sundays helps you slow down. It's 2 hours of ritual. Stand, sit, stand, sit, stand, sit, stand, kneel, stand, kneel, walk, kneel, sit, stand (and, yes, that's an accurate recap of an actual Mass). Say hi to your friends afterwards, how was your week, how are the kids, what have you got going on...

    You slow down. And hopefully reflect on how your life is going. And throw in some thankful for how great you've got it. And possibly some this is what I've got to work on.

    Slow. Down.

    And I don't think that it has to be Mass or it has to be Sunday or it has to be Catholic or it has to be anything but your own... and we could all use some time in our lives to slow down.

    Did I mention my dad is a genius?

    Friday, March 30, 2012

    Playing the Lottery

    ... is like going to the beach, picking up a grain of sand, and hoping that your grain of sand is the one that gets picked.

    One of my dad's mentors told him that. You were a wise, wise man, Chat.

    I played the lottery tonight. Along with millions of other people. The jackpot was $640 million, which is a mind-blowing, outrageous, unthinkably obnoxious amount of money. $640 million doesn't just change your life. It changes the course of your entire bloodline. Every single branch on your family tree is affected for generations to come. And from what? Hard work? Blood, sweat, tears, effort, and the will to get ahead? Nope... You picked a grain of sand and got lucky.

    If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Another wise man (or woman) said that. I don't know who, but they knew what they were talking about. Just take a look at this article from the Huffington Post. Suffering "social ostracization, destitution, suicide and other tragic outcomes..."? I'll stick to working for a paycheck...

    Of course, I didn't win, so maybe this is all just sour grapes...

    Thursday, March 29, 2012

    Like a Moth to a Flame

    I remember the first time I realistically and actually and wholeheartedly and emotionally felt drawn to start or join a band.

    June 8, 2001. Chain Reaction in Anaheim. I was at a bonfire in Laguna Beach with my UCI hallmates from Cumbre, and a couple friends mentioned they were going to see Ozma. I was first introduced to Ozma earlier that year when I saw them open up for Weezer down in La Jolla.

    So, I hopped in the car with my friends, and we took a super circuitous route to get to Anaheim from Laguna Beach. 73 North to the 55 North to the 91 West to the 57 South to the 5 North. We were outside of the venue about 45 minutes after we left Laguna. When I think about it, it’s kinda weird the things you remember… (like freeways taken to a concert…)

    We didn’t have tickets and there was no one walking into the venue so we assumed it was sold out. Then one of my friends walked up to the ticket box and asked and yes there were tickets would you like one, um, yes, yes, we would, thank you. Enter venue. Smelly, sweaty, sticky, superb. It was the first “real” show I had ever been to. Pushing through the crowd to get to the stage. Elbows in the back. Shoulders to the chin. Soaking shirts rubbing against raw skin. And I fell in love with it, with the whole experience, with the sights and the sounds and the sounds and the sounds and the smells and the sounds and the feeling of a sweat soaked shirt making you shiver in the breeze but mostly with the sounds...


    I was already messing around with some buddies, playing guitar, writing songs, but now the vision was crystallized into a vision. Get up on that stage and make other people sweaty through the power of your music and your energy and your presence...


    God, what a great night...

    Tuesday, March 27, 2012

    Rhythm

    There's a rhythm to New York City. And, no, I'm not talking about the Barry Manilow song...

    I mean that there's a cadence to how the people walk the streets, how the subway comes and goes through each station, how the rickshas and horse drawn carriages travel through Central Park, how the Broadway patrons flood out into the streets after each show, how the taxi cabs weave in and out of traffic, how the street vendors call out to you and move on to the next passerby once you've snubbed them, how the locals acknowledge you as a tourist because you're out of rhythm...

    And, yes. Tourists are out of rhythm... not just in Times Square or SoHo or Central Park. Tourists everywhere are out of rhythm. Tourists at Disneyland. At the beach. In Hollywood. And it's a beautiful thing because being out of rhythm is being out of your comfort zone and the only way you can truly grow is to be outside of your comfort zone.

    That's the beauty of traveling. You learn so much (if you're actually paying attention) when you travel. You step outside your bubble, you expose yourself to different customs and traditions and rhythms of life, and you can't help but become a different version of yourself through this exposure.

    I wish I could travel more. And benefit from experiencing life beyond my own apartment, neighborhood, town, city, county, state, country... Because I want to learn and I want to be shaped by those experiences.

    Thank you for a beautiful first anniversary trip, New York City. I hope I see you again very soon...

    Sunday, March 25, 2012

    Tired in the morning...

    ... and wide awake at night.

    Why is the grass always greener? Why do opposites attract? Why are you tired when work needs to get done and energetic when there's nothing to do?

    More NYC shenanigans today. Great brunch at Barrio Chino with Emily and Nate. We missed out on two lotteries (Newsies and Book of Mormon), but it was nice to be able to come back to the hotel and rest after dinner. And what a dinner! The View at the Marquis Marriott. Rotating restaurant!! Gnocchi, rib eye, potatoes, cheesecake... awesome. And filling. And I needed the walk to the subway station afterwards...

    Tomorrow: sleeping in, Central Park lunch, MoMA, and Newsies. New York is beautiful...

    Oh, yeah. Another iPhone post. And I need to keep doing push ups. And do I really want room service...?

    Saturday, March 24, 2012

    Yes, I said I never would, but...

    ... I'm updating from my iPhone again.

    So, sue me. I'm in New York, and I'm one of the seventy-three people age 30 or younger in America without a laptop. So, I'm updating from my iPhone.

    Wow, I'm in New York. For my first anniversary. With the love of my life. And it's been a really amazing trip so far. Our first in over 4 years, which is all at once amazing and unbelievable and depressing and completely exhilarating!

    Red eye flight was quick but uncomfy. Always woke up with a sore neck; could never get in a good sleeping position; slept for over 3/4 of the flight, but didn't really get any rest.

    Landed at 5:40am. Took a cab to 60 Thompson, our swanky hotel in SoHo. This place is rad and hipster-y and totally way too cool for Rachel and I. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to enjoy the hell out of this amazingly comfortable king bed with its feathery pillows and sleep inducing sheets...

    Slept in a bit, then woke up and hustled down to the Seaport TKTS. Navigating the subway system is like trying to learn a new language. I wish SoCal had a subway system, but it's way too spread out. It is very liberating to walk and take trains everywhere though. I'd probably be way more healthy, too. We decided to get Jesus Christ Superstar tickets even though it's still in previews.

    Train back to SoHo. Picked up pizza and garlic knots for lunch and took it back to our room. Greasy, but serviceable. Watched TV and rested till we walked to Dylan Prime for dinner. It's a steakhouse in TriBeCa, and Rachel and I ate there 5 years ago, but it feels like it could have happened months ago...

    Oh yeah. Collateral is a bomb movie, and Jamie Foxx is really good. What happened to that guy?

    Train to JCS. Amazing show. Really liked Jesus and Judas killed it even though he was an understudy. I loved seeing how proud of Judas the rest of the cast was during bows. They were all congratulating him, and you got the feeling that he was a great young actor that paid his dues and was finally getting his big chance. And he did so well, you couldn't help but be happy for him.

    Long day planned tomorrow. Newsies lottery, brunch with Emily and Nate, a matinee?, a night show?, dinner at the View rotating restaurant in Times Square, drinks with a good friend of Rachel's that she hasn't seen in years. Long day, can't wait!!

    Friday, March 23, 2012

    Leaving on a jet plane...

    ... and I know exactly when I'll be back again.

    Leave for NYC with Rachel tomorrow night. I like that phrase "leave for...". It makes us sound like we're going to Oregon Trail it across the country and face the perils of the open wilderness and dodge herds of bison and escape the clutches of dysentery... Can you believe I've never actually played Oregon Trail?

    I love New York. I love Rachel and I in New York. Times Square. The Subway (and subsequently, getting lost on the subway...). Broadway shows. Amazing restaurants. Such a different pace from California. People move with purpose, which is interpreted as "people are rude." No, bro. They just know what they need to do and would rather not have your tourist ass in the way...

    It's our one year anniversary on March 27th, next Tuesday. It doesn't feel like a year. It feels longer. It feels shorter. It hasn't been perfect, but it has been amazing, and I am the luckiest man in the world (cue cheesy music and doves being released and running towards each other on the beach...)

    Time to sleep. Then... NYC tomorrow night!!!

    Wednesday, March 21, 2012

    Is Mediocre Enough?

    This post is going to be mediocre. Yes, I have set the bar low enough to be vaulted with little to no effort. Already, I have exceeded expectations...

    Maybe we expect too much? Maybe our goals are too lofty, our standards are too high, our scorecards are too strict...

    Or maybe we just want spectacular. We want to feel the backs of our necks tingle, the hairs on our arms stand up... we want to feel goosebumps and have trouble catching our breath because what we've witnessed is so amazing, beautiful, life-changing...

    It starts with aiming high on paper, hitting low in reality, and eventually matching paper to reality.

    Mediocre now becomes amazing later... but only if you push yourself through the times you feel mediocre. Only if you learn from your mistakes. Attempt, evaluate, adjust, rinse, repeat.

    But even mediocre is better than nothing. Nothing might as well be... well, it really isn't anything so nothing can go fuck itself...