Everything Will Be Alright in the End

Tonight, I was 13, sitting in my sisters' room, skipping the first three tracks of the Blue Album until I hear the opening line of Buddy Holly, which is the first Weezer song I recognized from the radio.

Tonight, I was walking up to a Best Buy register. Pinkerton was in my hands, and it was the second CD I will ever purchase with my own money.

Tonight, I was 15. I walked into the Galaxy Theater in Santa Ana, and my sister warned me that the show was going to get loud. My brother-in-law Todd bought me my first Weezer t-shirt. It's red and there's a punk rock chick character on the front. She's wearing her own Weezer t-shirt, and she's throwing up rock hands.

Tonight, I was sitting in the backseat of my parents' car. We were cruising on the Eastbound 60, and I was singing along softly to Butterfly.

Tonight, it was my first year at UCI. A group of friends and I drove down to La Jolla to see Weezer. It was the first time I ever saw the band Ozma, and it was a night that changed my life forever.

Tonight, I was listening to the Green Album outtakes that Todd burned for me. I fell in love with Burndt Jam and Brightening Day.

Tonight, I was at the Gibson Amphitheater in 2010 for Weezer's Memories Tour. I scream along to every song on the Blue Album, except for Say It Ain't So. Monastically, I just stand and watch during that song.

Tonight, I was listening to Everything Will Be Alright in the End. It was streaming on iTunes before its release, and I listen to it 4 times non-stop. It's the first album since Pinkerton that I listen to from beginning to end.

Tonight, I walked up to a Best Buy register. I'm holding EWBAITE in my hands. It's the first physical CD I've purchased in over 3 years.

Tonight, I sang onstage with Weezer at the Observatory Theater in Santa Ana (formerly the Galaxy). I was feet away from Rivers Cuomo. I met some awesome people. I got to share the moment with Todd. I could barely contain myself as I recanted the night's events to my wife Rachel. I looked up the Weezer Fan Club and how to join. I stayed up until the wee hours of the night to write this.

Tonight, I was a kid again.

Thank you, Weezer, from the bottom of my kid heart.

I can't wait for it to be tonight again...

It's a Feeling

I've been in a couple bands. I grew up in Southern California so that shouldn't come as a shock to you. There's a band in every garage and they're all going to be rock stars one day. There's something about ocean air mixed with smog mixed with... with...

You think too much. It should be more about feeling. Not about being clever. About feeling. Not about gimmicks. About feeling.

Things that last have feeling. By things I mean songs. By feeling I mean I can close my eyes and remember what it felt like when I first held my older sister's copy of Weezer's Blue Album. I can conjure the image of a teenage boy sitting in the back seat of his parents' Honda Civic blaring Helmet's Unsung through his headphones on the way to watch his high school play football. I can smell the sweat soaked shirt after that Ozma show at Chain reaction.

It's a feeling. And you can't always articulate it. Which is what makes it so great. And sad. And frustrating. And amazing.

Sometimes the best thing you can tell yourself is to stop thinking and start feeling.

Like a Moth to a Flame

I remember the first time I realistically and actually and wholeheartedly and emotionally felt drawn to start or join a band.

June 8, 2001. Chain Reaction in Anaheim. I was at a bonfire in Laguna Beach with my UCI hallmates from Cumbre, and a couple friends mentioned they were going to see Ozma. I was first introduced to Ozma earlier that year when I saw them open up for Weezer down in La Jolla.

So, I hopped in the car with my friends, and we took a super circuitous route to get to Anaheim from Laguna Beach. 73 North to the 55 North to the 91 West to the 57 South to the 5 North. We were outside of the venue about 45 minutes after we left Laguna. When I think about it, it’s kinda weird the things you remember… (like freeways taken to a concert…)

We didn’t have tickets and there was no one walking into the venue so we assumed it was sold out. Then one of my friends walked up to the ticket box and asked and yes there were tickets would you like one, um, yes, yes, we would, thank you. Enter venue. Smelly, sweaty, sticky, superb. It was the first “real” show I had ever been to. Pushing through the crowd to get to the stage. Elbows in the back. Shoulders to the chin. Soaking shirts rubbing against raw skin. And I fell in love with it, with the whole experience, with the sights and the sounds and the sounds and the sounds and the smells and the sounds and the feeling of a sweat soaked shirt making you shiver in the breeze but mostly with the sounds...


I was already messing around with some buddies, playing guitar, writing songs, but now the vision was crystallized into a vision. Get up on that stage and make other people sweaty through the power of your music and your energy and your presence...


God, what a great night...

Writing songs

It can take me anywhere from 10 minutes to over a year to write a song. But even the songs that take over a year, typically only take around 30 minutes to an hour. It's just that it will be 10 minutes and 20 minutes and 15 minutes and 8 minutes... separated by over a year of space...

I read somewhere that Rivers Cuomo said the best instrument for songwriting is the piano. I think Daniel Brummel from Ozma said that in an interview, too. Most of my songs are written on guitar. I almost always write melodies first, and use basic chord structures as the backing arrangements. I have yet to write down actual chord structures or even tablature for any of my songs.

I've written a couple songs on piano, but they've since gone the way of the dodo. For whatever reason, I can never remember the songs I've written on piano, most likely because I play the instrument to infrequently to internalize anything. Also, it's a lot easier to remember barre chord placement on a guitar than actual chord placement on piano. The voicings of chords on a piano are much more numerous than on guitar. Or maybe I just think that because I only use barre chords and a couple open chord structures...

Lyrics tend to come second. Although lately, especially since starting Oh Girl with Adrian, auto-writing is the lyric writing method of choice. I didn't even know that Rick Rubin had been using auto-writing during his production sessions until Linkin Park talked about making their last album with him. Not gonna lie. Part of me is bummed that I share a lyric writing process with Linkin Park. (oh, you wannabe music elitist, you...)

In a perfect world, I'd post a video of one of my latest songs here as evidence of my songwriting style. Alas, it's an imperfect world, and I'll have to settle for the faint promise of a youtube video of a new song some time in the not too distant future.

"Would that I could write like this more often"- Calvin...