How badly do you want it?

Went running again today. I'm not training for anything. Running sessions are now focused on having fun and maintaining my fitness. I can take it easy. I don't need to push. I can just cruise and have a good time and forget about sticking to a hard edged training regiment...

Yet I still find myself running hard on mile 4... I still push myself occasionally just to make sure I can.

It's not necessary. But I'm hoping (and banking on the fact that) it will make a difference when I actually have a training goal.

Sometimes you learn more about yourself when there's nothing else pushing you but your own subconscious.

I need to carry that mentality over into my real life. Because there isn't really an "off-season". Sure, there are periods of time where certain actions crystallize into actual forward movement and growth and development, but even when the stars don't align, you're still progressing. It's just a matter of if that progression is forwards or backwards. Are you setting yourself up for success or failure...?

How badly do you want it? You get a glimpse of how much during these "for fun" sessions... in running, in working, in your career, in your passion, in your life.

Prove it to yourself, Glynn. You know how badly you want it.

Want/ Need

Want:

1. Laptop
2. Lockout space to keep all instruments and recording equipment
3. Gym Membership
4. 3 Bed/ 2.5 Bath House with a 2 Car Garage
5. More Guitars
6. New Drumset
7. New Cymbals
8. More Amps
9. Triathlon Wetsuit
10. Triathlon Speedskin
11. New Road Bike
12. New Wardrobe
13. iPad
14. More Money
15. More...

Need:

1. Health
2. Family
3. Friends
4. Patience
5. Awareness
6. Artistic Release

 Which list is more important? Which list do I focus my energy on?

My Wedding Ring

Gets taken off when I take a shower.

Clinks when I do the dishes.

Still fits.

Feels amazing.

Is a part of me.



...


Happily around
my finger. Slid it on six
months ago today.

...

I love you, Rachel Pupa Montemayor.

Woodshed: Drumsticks

Is there such a thing as too easy?

Tonight I took the "pepsi challenge" with two different sets of drumsticks, both from Vic Firth, the SD1 and the Extreme 5B. The SD1s felt good, nice and lightweight, and rudiments were easy with them. The Extreme 5Bs had a little more weight to them, it was a little more difficult, but there was a comfort in the difficulty. The SD1s almost felt like they would slip out of my hands; the Extreme 5Bs forced me to grip them a little more forcefully, but there wasn't added tension from the firm-ness.

I might be reading too much into it, but it felt good to play with the less not difficult sticks. It reminded me of something Jack White said in the documentary about the White Stripes where they tour Canada. He was continuously looking for ways to make things more difficult because it sparked his creative flow, forced him out of his comfort zone, led to new stylistic discoveries that kept the music fresh and evolutionary. I can appreciate that.

Extreme 5Bs might be the ticket... plenty of time to make a decision.

Drumming is really effin' fun.

Cooking

I made teriyaki meat using my Mom's recipe tonight. I will never forget this recipe, and I take comfort in the fact that whenever I make it, I will be reminded of my mom and how much she means to me. There are plenty of other recipes of hers I need to learn and perfect, too: chicken adobo, roast beef, garlic shrimp, bbq chicken, lumpia...

I'm beginning to enjoy cooking more and more. There's something about taking ingredients and combining them to create a dish that will provide you with happiness and fuel and pride. You tend to eat more slowly if you've cooked your own dinner, too. I mean, who wants to rush through such a wonderful meal that was prepared with such love and care?

I made pancakes, too. Then froze them for future use. Just exposition, I know, but sometimes it's necessary.

Cooking requires patience and attention to detail and time management and organization. Good thing I'm starting to enjoy cooking because hopefully this means that I'll improve in all four of those categories.

I wish I had started cooking earlier in life. I hadn't really started cooking and learning the nuance of culinary dabbery until about a year or so ago. And there's still so much to learn.

You know, sometimes it's nice to just write for the sake of writing and not have a grandiose and earth-moving point...

I really like love my blog...

For Fun

I ran a 5K and a 10K this year. And I trained for both races, which was rad because it meant devising and sticking to a plan and checking off intermediate goals and taking it one day at a time, always with the end goal in mind, always focusing on the pace and the distance, taking steps each training session towards achieving the set goals. Training went well, and I achieved my goal pace in each race. Actually, I went faster than expected in each race, which is even more rad.

The 5K was on July 4th, and the 10K was a week ago on September 17th. I haven't signed up for another race yet, and in all honesty, I probably won't run another actual race till 2012. I'd also like to complete a sprint triathlon some time next summer, which will require even more training.

So it's the "offseason". I don't have any upcoming events, and for all intents and purposes, I can take a break for a bit and lay off the accumulation of fitness.

That being said, I really wanted to go for a run today. Schedules permitted and I had a chunk of time and Chase was with me and I love running with him because he's such great company, glancing up at me every once in a while or throwing both arms behind his head and chillaxing or making noises when airplanes take off from John Wayne and fly over the back bay trail we've run together a couple times.

And in the middle of that run... I realized how much fun I was having.

Yes, I was keeping track of time, and yes, there were people that I had in my sights to pass, and yes, there was still a target pace to be had. But it was fun. And not because I was training for something. It was just fun to be out and about in southern California on an overcast day running a beautiful back bay trail in Newport Beach with my almost 2 year old son and it started to drizzle and Chase fell asleep and it was a pretty dreary day actually... but it was a lot of fun.

I really enjoy running. Not just for fitness or to achieve health and race goals... it's genuinely fun for me.

And it's completely mine. I have about 3 or 4 activities that are truly mine and that had very little outside influence (relatively): golf, a genuine love of sports, music, and now running. These are the things I do for fun, the things that fill my day when I have extra time, the things I will stop to witness while channel surfing, the things I search for while I'm on the internet, the topics of conversation with my family, the interests I hope to share with my son.

Why can't what we do for fun be what we do for a living?

Woodshed: Developing my Drumming "Vocabulary"

As soon as we learn how to talk, we spend the rest of our lives doing it. As a species, talking is our primary form of communication. Sure, there's writing and non-verbal communication like body language or facial expressions, but we do our most specific and explicit communication through talking.

When you first start talking, it's not very intelligible. There are lots of monosyllables and nonsensical phrases. I should know because I'm in the midst of an almost two year old boy who is beginning to find his voice. Lots of "um"s and "qwijybo"s... Gibberish, basically.

But then, after a while, after you've been talking for a bit, actual words start to take shape. "Mama", "Da-dee", "Pa-pa", "up", "eeree" (really)... You begin to convey actual thoughts through these words. These words are the first part of your vocabulary. Then further down the line there are phrases, then sentences, then full paragraphs, then you start to tell actual stories.

When you think about it, people start telling stories the moment they start talking. It's just we don't have the control over language, the vocabulary that is necessary to be understood. It's not until several years of talking that we actually communicate these stories more effectively. And even then, it will be even more years until those stories are nuanced and subtle and communicate even more complicated thoughts. When we reach our teenage years, our language and vocabulary has evolved and we might even be able to hold someone's attention long enough to tell them a really good story... even if it's not as sophisticated as the story we'll tell as young adults and then even further into our wisdom gaining years...

What's my point...?

Well, I'm a veritable teenager... when it comes to drumming. I can tell a pretty good story, but it's not as refined as I'd like it to be. The story doesn't live up to the expectations that my idealistic and impressionable mind have set for myself. And it's because my vocabulary isn't up to par... I have much to learn before I can articulately speak while I'm sitting at a drumset. I've got some pretty impressive "words" to use, but there's plenty more to say and ever more eloquent ways to say it.

Wow. What a long winded way of saying that I'm woodshedding so I can increase my drum vocabulary...