Everything Will Be Alright in the End

Tonight, I was 13, sitting in my sisters' room, skipping the first three tracks of the Blue Album until I hear the opening line of Buddy Holly, which is the first Weezer song I recognized from the radio.

Tonight, I was walking up to a Best Buy register. Pinkerton was in my hands, and it was the second CD I will ever purchase with my own money.

Tonight, I was 15. I walked into the Galaxy Theater in Santa Ana, and my sister warned me that the show was going to get loud. My brother-in-law Todd bought me my first Weezer t-shirt. It's red and there's a punk rock chick character on the front. She's wearing her own Weezer t-shirt, and she's throwing up rock hands.

Tonight, I was sitting in the backseat of my parents' car. We were cruising on the Eastbound 60, and I was singing along softly to Butterfly.

Tonight, it was my first year at UCI. A group of friends and I drove down to La Jolla to see Weezer. It was the first time I ever saw the band Ozma, and it was a night that changed my life forever.

Tonight, I was listening to the Green Album outtakes that Todd burned for me. I fell in love with Burndt Jam and Brightening Day.

Tonight, I was at the Gibson Amphitheater in 2010 for Weezer's Memories Tour. I scream along to every song on the Blue Album, except for Say It Ain't So. Monastically, I just stand and watch during that song.

Tonight, I was listening to Everything Will Be Alright in the End. It was streaming on iTunes before its release, and I listen to it 4 times non-stop. It's the first album since Pinkerton that I listen to from beginning to end.

Tonight, I walked up to a Best Buy register. I'm holding EWBAITE in my hands. It's the first physical CD I've purchased in over 3 years.

Tonight, I sang onstage with Weezer at the Observatory Theater in Santa Ana (formerly the Galaxy). I was feet away from Rivers Cuomo. I met some awesome people. I got to share the moment with Todd. I could barely contain myself as I recanted the night's events to my wife Rachel. I looked up the Weezer Fan Club and how to join. I stayed up until the wee hours of the night to write this.

Tonight, I was a kid again.

Thank you, Weezer, from the bottom of my kid heart.

I can't wait for it to be tonight again...

Hurry Up and Wait

I need to remember that this blog is a way for my past self to teach my future self by chronicling my present self's failings.

There's something oh so wrong about that sentence that makes it feel oh so right.

So... um... hubris much?

I'm starting to right again... wow...

I'm starting to write again.

Mistakes make us human. Mistakes are the good stuff.

Mistakes are why a computer will never be able to create a truly beautiful work of art.

So... um... pretentious much?

Is there anything I've gone all in on? It's so much easier to have an out, to spread yourself thin, to do just enough to get started and then falter once you really come up against it.

Case in point: I'm talking to Rachel while blogging while Facebook messaging with Dean while cruising Promotive... and also thinking about the song I'm currently working on.

So... um... distracted much?

Lesson of the day?

FOCUS.

Daily Interactions

How was your weekend?

Pretty good. And you?

Same here. Too short, though.

It always is!!

---

I wonder how many times I've had that exact interaction with someone. A neighbor. A co-worker. A classmate.

Serve. Return. Overhead smash. 

Tiny set-ups for an age-old joke.

It's a choreographed routine of words, and we've all learned it and internalized it and it's pure reflex by now.

Are any daily interactions truly original? Has anything we've done not been done before?

We're all just floating along, interacting with each other, perpetuating the social norms, filling the day with small talk and cliche and rote responses.

Is this what we've settled for?

Also, is it too late to go bake brownies...?

My Next Kit

*Warning: Gear Geek Out Session Ahead!!!

I'm starting to drum more.

And I have a solid kit now (PDP FS 5 piece birch kit (sans snare) with a Sonor 1001 16" Floor Tom add on and a Ludwig steel snare), but I'm already looking ahead to the next kit that I'll be investing in.

I'd like it to be maple.

I'd like it to be a 6 piece (kick, snare, 2 rack toms, 2 floor toms).

I'd like it to be under $2000.

I've just started really looking (even if I'm a couple years away from actually making a purchase), but the first kit I've found that looks promising is the Mapex Saturn IV. Maple/ Walnut shells and the configuration that I'm looking for.

Now I just need to find a snare...

Ok... geek out session complete...

Three Days Down

Eighteen more to go.

They say it takes three weeks to create a habit.

Well, shit. I just read that article and the whole premise of this post is pretty much shot to all hell.

But that's okay, too. Realizing that you're wrong and that you have to re-examine your worldview. In a lot of ways, you have to work to make it a habit not to get stuck in a perspective that is incapable of flexibility.

What habits would I like to form?

Keeping the house clean.

Practicing drums daily.

Digging in to the difficult projects at work instead of just cherry-picking the easier tasks.

Actively listening instead of tuning out and only catching the (perceived) highlights of a conversation.

Putting down the phone.

Blogging.

Three days down... just gotta keep writing. Just gotta keep flexing that creativity muscle. It will help a lot of different aspects of my life. Just getting it on to the page, whatever "it" is...

Three doors down... wait... days...

Three days down.

Things We All Feel

Impatient.

Anxious.

Angry.

Happy.

Embarrassed.

Content.

Rushed.

Overwhelmed.

Unsure.

Impatient.

Doubtful.

Unsure.

Hungry.

What's the point?

Does it mean anything?

Does what we do mean ANYTHING...?

What am I doing with my life? What's the greater purpose? Why am I writing this here? Why can't I talk about this with my wife? What am I hiding? What is the point...

What is the point...

What is the point...

Selfish.

Lazy.

Driven.

Embarrassed.

It's a chess game, and I think I know what the next move should be, but I have no idea.

This blog is bullshit. This post is BULLSHIT.

Would geniuses exist without dunces?

What the hell am I writing?

There's a cat staring at me. He's swiped at me and drawn blood before. I can't help but think he enjoyed it, which is why he continues to swipe. And draw blood. I'm going to throw him off the bed at some point tonight. I know because I can see into the future.

Once you have the idea, it's already been done. I want to be one of those people that has undoneable ideas. Maybe those are the people that walk up and down Figueroa while talking to himself.

If she's empirically attractive but doesn't do anything for you does that mean you have bad taste? Or is this post just getting more bullshitty by the syllable?

Cat, don' t test me...

Too Busy

Too busy to blog.

Too busy to finish that song.


Too busy to read that book.

Too busy to clean.

Too busy to do it right.

Too busy to not cut corners.

Too busy for a lot of things.

But not too busy to watch TV or browse the internet or check email again or look at my Twitter feed or like that status or go on Reddit or click over to Netflix or cruise Instagram or do whatever else is distracting me from what I really want to do.

Too busy?

Just an excuse...